"Lord, I am not worthy"

Seven or eight years ago, Father David sent a letter to my wife Marybeth, calling her to serve as a Eucharistic Minister here at Our Savior. Many of you have received a similar letter in the past, and I’ll just say the fact that he sent the invitation to Marybeth and not to me probably marks Father as a pretty astute judge of character. I don’t remember much about that letter, but one thing he said jumped out at me . He said, “And please don’t say, ‘I’m not worthy,’ because none of us are.” That simple phrase was a “light bulb” moment for me, and it’s stayed with me ever since. It’s why I dared to discern a vocation to the diaconate, and why I’m blessed to stand before you today.

The memory of that letter came immediately to mind this week because that theme of our unworthiness — and how God responds to it — is central to all our readings this morning.

In our first reading, Isaiah receives a vision of God in all His glory, on a high and lofty throne in the Temple. Overwhelmed by the magnificence of the glorious Lord, Isaiah becomes painfully aware of his sinful human nature, and cries out in fear: “Woe is me, I am doomed! For I am a man of unclean lips, living among a people of unclean lips…” (“Lord, I am not worthy.”) But God doesn’t condemn him or turn away. He sends an angel to touch his lips with a flaming ember, cleansing him from wickedness and purging him of sin. And cleansed from sin, Isaiah answers God’s call — “Here I am. Send me.” — to bring God’s message of repentance and healing to the broken people of Israel.

Then we have Paul, the “apostle to the Gentiles,” reminding the Corinthians of his unworthiness to even be an apostle. Because as Saul, he started out as a persecutor of the Church. He held the cloaks of the people stoning the first martyr St Stephen to death. And he was on his way to Damascus to bring back Christians in chains when he was called by the Lord — struck down and blinded — and released from his spiritual blindness and sin. Paul’s message is clear — “I am not worthy.” Yet even in his unworthiness, God cleansed him and called him to bring the Good News of Christ to all the nations.

And finally, in Luke’s Gospel, we have the story of the calling of Simon Peter. After a night of fruitless fishing, Simon and his brother fishermen are cleaning out their boats, no doubt dispirited, tired, and ready for some rest. Jesus comes to Simon and asks him to put out into deep water and cast his nets one more time. For whatever reason Simon, the professional fisherman, heeds the request from this landsman, goes back out, and catches so many fish his nets and his whole boat are on the verge of being overwhelmed.

Simon Peter at once realizes the presence of God at work before him. He falls to his knees at the feet of Jesus, and professes his unworthiness: “Depart from me, Lord, for I am a sinful man.” (“Lord, I am not worthy.”) But instead of turning away, Christ calls Peter, his brother Andrew, James and John to follow him and become “fishers of men.” And they became the first disciples.

We tend to think the call to become “fishers of men” was addressed only to Peter and the apostles, and maybe their successors — our bishops, together with the priests and religious. But that’s not correct. We are ALL called to become fishers of men. One of the key revelations from Vatican II was the reminder that every Christian, by virtue of our Baptism and Confirmation, is commissioned to become a disciple, a minister of Christ’s love and justice to the world. We have all been called to discipleship.

So when you tell yourself, “Lord, I am not worthy,” you are absolutely correct. But don’t allow that to become your stopping point. All too often we allow our unworthiness before God to become an excuse, a crutch. But that very gift of revelation is the first step in our call to discipleship.

Most of us won’t receive a glorious vision of God’s majesty like Isaiah; or be knocked off our high horse like Paul on the road to Damascus; or experience an obvious miracle before us like Peter. Maybe it will be a simple “light bulb” moment that God puts before you. The Lord calls us wherever we are. But however that moment of revelation comes to you, the Lord is waiting to cleanse your lips, to open your eyes, and to wipe your slate clean through the gift of the Sacraments. And once freed from ourselves, all things become possible if we but trust in the Lord.

“Lord, I am not worthy.” No, we’re not. But God doesn’t really care. Because it’s not us — it’s God working through us to bring Good News to the world. We need to embrace our unworthiness, bring it to God, let it go, and answer with Isaiah: “Here I am. Send me.” Because once you free yourself to answer God’s call, you’ll find Jesus waiting there, saying, “Come on, we’ve got work to do.”